UpliftAnother1

Building Community Through Better Relationships

The Urgency of the Tyrant

Child_boss Tyrant

The Tyranny of the Urgent is a common phrase referring to people held hostage by immediate problems that they face. People cannot perform important tasks because they are trapped by urgent ones. Long term benefits are at the mercy of short-term demands. However, an equally counterproductive and evil relative also lurks. The Urgency of the Tyrant is when someone else’s problem becomes your problem. And, that someone has authority! Where’s coaching when you need it?

Lack of Planning
“Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!” This clever quip is empowering until the poor planner exercises their authority. For example, the boss arrives late at the office following an early morning “networking meeting” with his golfing buddies. The report he needed two days ago, that he neglected to tell anyone, is now the nearest subordinate’s problem. The Tyrant has struck!

The subordinate cannot plan for such contingencies. They make the hard decision and sacrifice another priority. Consequences emerge from missed deadlines. Other leaders and peers question the subordinate’s competence. However, the subordinate’s best defense is contingency planning that anticipates the reckless leader. Enlist colleagues to absorb the resultant overflow that the Tyrant created. Likewise, be prepared to reciprocate among those colleagues. Reckless Tyrants do not discriminate. They wreak havoc from their egomaniacal vacuum. Defeat the Tyrant’s lack of planning by overcompensating with superior proactivity among a community of teammates.

Manage Emergencies
What can victims do? Getting angry or vengeful certainly does not help. Negative emotions drain time and energy from fulfilling the impossible assignments. To survive, reprioritize assignments quickly. According to Gene Kleiner, “The more difficult the decision, the less it matters what you choose.” Choices fall in the “Damned if You do, Damned if you don’t” category. The choice is real; so are the consequences. Choose anyway.

However, long-term issues remain. Once a subordinate performs a miracle, the Tyrant returns with equally impossible tasks. It is his true nature. Like most tyrannical regimes, escape is an attractive option. The tyrant already has authority and no incentive to change. Subordinates have alternatives. Upon considering equally brutal choices, ongoing submission is a possibility. But, finding a new environment, galvanizing fellow oppressed colleagues, standing up for individual respect are also options. Explore possibilities that maximize personal attributes for individual gain. Consequences maybe difficult, but that cannot silence the right for dignity.

Takeaways
Tyrants emerge in many types of organization. Often, bullies are bullied themselves. However, loyalty to an oppressor is really enslavement! Explore options. Coaching helps. Prepare for promotions, develop new skills, explore different life choices, pursue personal happiness. Find new inspiration that empowers fulfillment beyond the Tyrant. Waiting for the oppressor to lose creates additional burdens. Having courage to escape oppressors because skills, talents, and value exceed current situations builds a path to liberation. A Tyrant has power through fear. Overcome the fear through individual efforts. Then, facilitate community. Ultimately, pursue conquering the abuse, then own your personal value.

By Glenn W Hunter
Managing Director of Hunter And Beyond, LLC

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October 13, 2017 Posted by | Better Business, Better Community | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

ABO: Attitude Behaviors Outcomes

Bootcamp Obstacle Teamwork

Getting teenagers to achieve meaningful changes for their future benefit is an enormous task. Young people routinely alter their life trajectory every ten, social media – driven, seconds. Nevertheless, creating positive change happens. Goals and timelines are established. The journey begins. However, progress is impossible without a strong foundation. Regardless of age, obstacle, or circumstance, significant achievement only occurs with a strong foundation. Three cornerstones establish the structure to change teenagers, parents, professionals, or anyone else interested in progress.

Attitude
Considering young people, if “attitude” and “change” are seen together, the word, “bad”, is nearby. However, attitude is simply, “a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person’s behavior.” Most importantly, attitudes can change. Individuals must want or be incented to change. Nevertheless, change is possible. To improve, it is necessary. By creating a positively accountable group, peer pressure can help facilitate growth-oriented change. Daily reinforcement of group benefits and goals gives the team permission to police itself. When “it’s all about us kids”, they own the improvement. They own the results. Their attitude ignites their winning drive! The leader merely points it in the desired direction.

Behavior
“If you can believe, you can achieve” is a clever quote. The achievement part requires work. Changing behavior requires work. Establishing structured activities is essential to creating a framework where that work happens. Different habits are introduced. The habits do not necessarily have to be new. But, they must be different than previously ineffective habits. Simple actions like choosing a different seat, selecting the first activity, picking their own nickname qualify. Individual ownership within the group framework instills ownership of progress. When every individual inside the group owns a decision that leads to group success, individual behavior matters. Furthermore, members become eager to exercise their new power so that their next behavior matters. Personally, each contributing individual can own the results.

Outcome
The foundation’s final piece features consistent focus on the ultimate result. Each individual must know their contribution matters. Everyone must share a stake with their teammates. This mindset only develops through consistent reinforcement that is established early and communicated often. Measurable goals work best. While individual goals create ownership, emphasizing cooperative benefits encourages teamwork. The rewards do not have to be equivalent. They must be individually meaningful. And, the rewards must be celebrated! Established outcomes are essential to successfully executing this process. Leaders who mutually serve the individual and the team reap the greatest benefits.

Takeaways
This process works for kids. It works for adults. Communal success and ownership of results is culturally hard-wired. Leaders do not need to dictate the result. Effective leaders are secure in knowing that they drove the result. They also know that their followers are ultimately responsible for executing the result. The purpose is success, not credit. Attitude, behaviors, outcomes represent the foundation. Reinforcing this foundation builds a stronger structure. If young people can be successful with this framework, imagine the success available to them when the stakes are higher!

By Glenn W Hunter
Managing Director, Hunter And Beyond, LLC

October 5, 2017 Posted by | Better Community, Better Person | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Compassionate Leadership Starts Early

Diverse Teen Leaders Group

A recent Mastermind Group meeting of civic-minded business leaders took an unexpected turn. A sidebar conversation turned toward social emotional learning. Ironically, the conversation started between two members who shared a common background with an organization identifying more with manhood, than anti-bullying. They surprisingly discovered that they also shared a passion in equipping youth with tools to build self-esteem and coping skills. Together they explored how their resources could jointly leverage greater contributions to healthier student communities. How do you inspire youth communities to build a more cooperative foundation? Start with developing leaders who understand how to respectfully engage their community!

Compassion
Compassion is not typically connected with leadership initially. However, for effective leaders to move followers toward results, they need to connect emotionally. Obeying because the leader said so, is a dangerous tactic. Empires fall when leaders demand blind faith and receive it. But connecting emotionally with a team is essential to gaining clarity for achieving the group’s vision. Emotional connection establishes followers who buy into group goals. High performance results because the group believes, not because they are compelled.

To establish such trust, communicating is vital. Effective listening is essential. Social emotional skills cultivate individuals to express their honest needs and expectations. Toxic leadership traps like groupthink are exposed and neutralized by honestly sharing ideas and priorities. Effective leaders can then embrace their groups’ needs, and benefit from their input and contribution. The best leaders understand the importance of intently listening before forming strategies. Imagine building communities based on fulfilling the growth of its members, rather than egos of its leaders.

Strength
“A leader without followers is just someone out taking a walk.” Effective leadership is truly strength with compassion. It involves vision. It focuses on service. By definition, a leader must have followers. For influencers in any particular community, identifying power brokers with a following is a common tactic. So is discerning where to locate available funding. Networking among ambitious changemakers often follows that path. However, connecting with pockets of influence that share an emotional bond also wields power. To harness strength in numbers, create alliances with the strongest bonds.

Nevertheless, to sustain strength, communal needs must be met. Communal needs prioritize the needs of the many, not just the powerful. Long-term strategies seek to cultivate the masses in advance of any rise to power. Therefore strategically, give future leaders the skills that they need to maximize their community’s potential. That community’s future resides in civil communication, then building emotional bonds. Teaching tools to communicate intellectually, as well as emotionally, creates leaders that cultivate engaged followers by serving their innate priorities. Subsequently, their strength results from aligning them with their broader good.

Takeaway
Functional and compassionate youth have a higher likelihood to become functional and compassionate adults. By giving leadership opportunities earlier in the youths’ development, communities improve the likelihood of growing through a spirit of cooperation, rather than fear. The local high school’s quarterback who also trains as a youth group leader acquires the capacity to develop skills to listen and lead into future service. The neighboring school’s chess champion and lead cheerleader can easily channel her developed skills in strategy, leadership, and enthusiasm into a path leading to legislative greatness. The social emotional tools are available for delivery. For those unconvinced of the importance of developing these skills, try not holding your belongings closer, or confirming that your weapon is accessible, the next time a group of raucous teenagers walk toward you at night.

By Glenn W Hunter
Principal of Hunter And Beyond

September 13, 2017 Posted by | Better Community, Better Person, Better World | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Intense Fellowship

Intense fellowship

Two people entrenched in a relationship with a strong faith-based foundation always achieve peaceful resolutions. Their love for each other and their commitment to their spiritual connection prevents anger and aggression. Then, their human emotions get involved and their faith-based engagement turns into an ugly argument! While the opening story plays very well on Sunday morning, make no mistake this is an argument. So, how did their personal, compassionate foundation escalate to the point that their relationship to each other and their higher power became compromised?

Argument
In the spirit of professed morality, intense fellowship is a wonderful euphemism. Highly charged disagreements may stem from any number of issues that attack couples. Friction results from carnal, financial, or social disconnection. Regardless, of professed faith-based commitments, communication breakdowns occur. Even beloved children’s behavior can ignite relationship explosions.

Nevertheless, disagreements must be addressed. Ignoring core issues or burying them under a cloak of religious doctrine only nourishes the seeds of destruction. Neither party feels better. The conflict simply festers and begins to attack other parts of the relationship. A social problem that is treated with retail therapy evolves into a financial problem. Intense fellowship only works when that approach is taken literally. Both parties honestly engage the conflict with raw emotions and expectations for common ground. Specific reasons may escalate the intensity. Still, identify the core issue and engage it. The ultimate goal focuses on preserving the relationship’s dignity.

Relationship
By keeping the relationship at the forefront, navigating intense fellowship has hope. Equally important, a path to resolution can surface. Removing the emotion from the equation, is a simple solution, Unfortunately, it is minimally effective. The emotion is what brings meaning to the relationship. Whether it is love of money, love of family, love of self, or even a common enemy, emotion cannot be assumed away. Whether managing the conflict requires reconciling faith, values, or matters of conscience, embrace the necessity of emotion. It is not leaving. Do not pretend that it will.

Upon establishing the emotional foundation, then address the intensity. Honor the other sides’ passion. Identify the non-negotiables. Understand what is really wrong on each side. Is there ignorance concerning key elements of the issue? Or, is apathy concerning the other side’s perspective the battleground. Genuinely explore the ignorance or apathy question, because “I don’t know and I don’t care” is not a helpful attitude! Prioritize the connection and the morals that hold it together.

Takeaway
When intense fellowship properly runs its course, the intensity subsides. The fellowship endures. Maintaining relationship is the foremost goal. Once the relationship collapses under the argument’s weight, the only two choices are abandon or rebuild. Truly consider whether the point that led to the intense fellowship is the final battleground. Regardless of specific beliefs, intense fellowship tests both sides’ positions and values. Before winning arguments at all costs be sure of the willingness to collect the broken pieces. Beware of scorched earth victories. Winning the war means rebuilding the defeated lands. With regards to individuals or community, reconciliation reinforces the priority of fellowship in the first place.

By Glenn W Hunter
Principal of Hunter And Beyond

September 6, 2017 Posted by | Better Communication, Better Community | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Permission to Fail

Enfante Terrible

Legendary college football coach, Bear Bryant, quipped, “The first time you quit, it’s hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don’t even have to think about it.” Why would a competitor give up when the thrill of victory is possible? Most likely, he did not quit because the desire to win was missing. That quitter accepted permission to fail! The offer may or may not have been extended. Regardless, quitting is the final step toward accepting responsibility for not contributing. But, why would anyone withhold their talents and gifts from a noble cause? Why give up on the team?

Authority
Typically, an authority figure is in position to grant permission. A parent permits a teenager to take the family car. However, a contributor, like the previously mentioned athlete who chooses to quit, has abandoned protocol. Their needs supersede the needs of the group. Essentially, a pompous act of selfishness leads to quitting. The act represents a total disregard for authority.

More importantly, the quitter is being selfish with their gifts. All teammates and participants have skills and talents to contribute. The individual that hijacks authority by withholding their gifts essentially limits the entire group. Authority weakens and all members are penalized. The selfish contributor has passively extended permission to fail for the rest of the team. Quitting becomes an option. The weakest element has now assumed authority. The group suffers because of one member’s selfishness.

Victory
Nevertheless, permission to fail is not a decision to fail! Strength in numbers still holds possibilities. Furthermore, superior leadership can reverse the trend toward defeat. Most importantly, cooperation by the group has the ability to rally success. Permission is not a proclamation. Failure is not final. No one needs to replace the quitter. Everyone else jointly contributing more to the cause will more than compensate. Simply rally the troops.

Besides, victory results from a process, not just an event. Because a selfish individual usurps authority to the detriment of the team, that does not guarantee sustained poor performance. Teamwork genuinely uplifts the group’s capability. Subtracting the selfish individual who undermined morale opens the opportunity for superior performance for the survivors. Better performance results from the group seizing the opportunity for excellence. The projected permission to fail has become stripped of its power.

Permission to fail is a singular decision in a long-suffering process. Successfully pursuing victory requires endurance. In fact, failure is part of the longer process. According to Winston Churchill, “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” So, iterate and improve. Jettisoning dead weight is actually part of the bigger process. Persevering together is too. Let the loser claim permission to fail. His self-centeredness will comfort him in his loneliness. Conversely, champions are built on comrades uplifting each other toward a common goal. Dismiss the losers’ authority over very little. Kick him out quickly. Then, together accept authority over very much, resulting in permission for success.

By Glenn W Hunter
Principal of Hunter And Beyond

 

August 9, 2017 Posted by | Better Community | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Overcommunicate

Dysfunction Overcommunicate workplace-bullying-1

How many relationships turn for the worse because someone else does not communicate enough? Organizationally, romantically, relationship dynamics work the same. A listener checks out, then the speaker overcompensates. The opposite of overcommunicate is not under-communicate. Overcommunication’s opposite is disinterest! Considering that Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s legendary research states that up to 93% of emotional communication is non-verbal, overcommunicating requires two parties to be over-exposed to language, tone, and visual cues in a conversation. Consequently, in the time for a listener to roll their eyes, communication has smashed into a roadblock. One gas-face, or daydream, during a discussion and communication suffers. Overcommunication? How about at the beginning paying attention explicitly and implicitly to what is said?

Lack of Respect
Across groups and organizations too often co-workers suffer from self-absorption. Typical they feel that they are under-challenged and definitely under-paid. They do not respect their role, or their superiors in too many instances. According to comedian George Carlin, “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” Purpose is an afterthought.

Overcommunication typically occurs after the lack of communication has created an impasse. Lack of respect precedes the lack of communication. Regardless of the relationship’s structure, people pay attention to people whom they respect. No respect leads to minimal communication. Lips move. The other party nods during pauses. The verbal affirmation, meaningful response, or insightful questions that are signs that communication transpired is missing. Consequently, understanding is absent. Communication does not occur and respect is doomed!

Lack of Care
Unwillingness to care creates a similar dysfunction. Communication fails, then overcommunication seeks to fill the gap. The classic story of the aloof teenager being scolded in high school illustrates this point. The teacher accurately, but poorly worded, berates the disengaged teenager for not paying attention. “Child, what is wrong with you? Are you ignorant, or apathetic?” Then, the teenager makes eye contact with the teacher long enough to respond: “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

Not caring has deeper ramifications than lack of respect. Without respect, acknowledgment can still occur. Not caring creates an emotional vacuum. Overcoming the emotional void that leads to overcommunication is nearly impossible. Overcommunication results from an overcompensating mechanism from a prior lack of communication. Without caring, an individual will not even fake a relationship. Consequently, communication fails to launch. Overcompensation to enforce the point results. Overcommunication starts. It does not matter.

When poor communication fundamentals invade any relationship’s or organization’s culture, accountability falters and performance erodes. The following office sign summarizes this phenomenon: “Helen Waite takes care of such problems. If you have a problem go to Hell-En Wait!” But, to save this environment, communication has to be prioritized at every level of interaction. Fundamentals, like listening, seeking clarification, and acknowledging common understanding, have to be practiced repeatedly and routinely. Communication starts with respect and accelerates with caring. So, when does overcommunicating intercede? It does not! Overcommunication is a compensating behavior. Get it right the first time. Listen and seek understanding! Then cooperate. That is how functional people operate.

By Glenn W Hunter
Principal of Hunter And Beyond

July 5, 2017 Posted by | Better Communication, Better Community, Better Person | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Defeating the Enemy Within

OVER-COMING-OBSTACLES2

Why do heroes always win? Because winners write history! Upon emerging from the battlefield, heroes create the legend. However, conflict and competition does not produce winners without producing ancillary damage, or unintended consequences. Sometimes winners lose comrades, integrity, or dignity. Nevertheless, no one else cares much about the failures that heroes endure on their way to epic accomplishments. Heroes simply win! But inside, winners know the sacrifices, scars and compromises involved with victory. So, how do they manage that internal conflict?

Emotion
“If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm” is an old African proverb. The enemy within magnifies vulnerability. Fear, insecurity, emotional baggage can cripple any effort. The emerging victor must first overcome their internal conflicts. The successful combatant must be emotionally superior to their adversary. They require more resolve and focus. Unyielding belief in victory is an exceptional advantage. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Realize that fear is a notable weapon. Winners first attack opponents with heavy doses of negativity. In the heat of battle, “it does not matter whether I win or lose. It matters that I win and you lose!” In individual or group competition, projecting a losing mentality on the opponent creates huge advantages. Before engaging the enemy expose weakness in their character, their cause, and their core beliefs. Strip away the adversary’s why! Create doubt. The winner’s story will read that he crushed his enemy. In reality, he defeated the loser in the mind before even attacking the body.

Logic
To secure their inner advantage, winners must eliminate their own disabling thoughts. Kick out the enemy within! Confidence is fickle. Bravado is relatively easy to conjure and project. Real courage is trickier. Logic is an empowering agent. Identify core advantages. Size, strength, intellect are tangible attributes. Find advantages and create a battleground based on those characteristics. Logic has to make sense. It does not have to be accurate. Create logical structures to trick opponents into seeing obstacles that you wish to impose as the winner. Convince enemies that giants are waiting to kill them. They never have to know the giants are only windmills.

Victory ultimately relies on tactics. Whether deception or brute force create advantages, winners still must execute their plan. A combatant can psyche himself up to start, but eventually in the heat of battle, he must believe in his advantages. The enemy within who is a secret coward, must build a belief structure that has confidence in their attributes. Superior execution, according to a plan, becomes the dominant weapon once fear has been placed in the opponent and the winner performs with precision.

Is it emotion or logic? Both provide advantages in overcoming adversity. Master deploying one or the other… or both. Use tools, like obedience and faith, to remove internal obstacles, then focus on explicit goals. Whether the combat is a physical conflict, or a personal best performance, bring both a logically structured plan and an inspired mindset to the battle. Create a plan and execute. Personal success depends on it. Individual victory requires it. Defeat the internal adversary. Then, march over external enemies’ decaying carcasses. Write the epic story of your resounding conquest. Then, dominate your next challenge with confidence, experience and success.

By Glenn W Hunter
Principal of Hunter and Beyond

June 22, 2017 Posted by | Better Community, Better Person | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

They’re Following Me

Following Me

Consequences for children are the dreadful results they endure following bad decisions. The consequences may be spending time in their room without any electronic devices. Or, they may have to endure hard labor like loading the dish washer, or scrubbing the bathroom. However, what happens when a naughty parent exercises bad decisions? Worse yet, what happens to the adult when no evidence exists of their destructive decisions. The guilt from the crime exists and it has places to hide. Or, does it?

New Location
Poor behavior can be masked, covered, cleaned, even pardoned. But, it does not truly go away until it is released. While a child has authority figures that are positioned to dispense punishment, the authority figure can often conveniently pardon themselves without pain. Grown-up problems can be secretly masked with addictive substances, or intellectually justified with twisted logic. They can be compartmentalized by blaming extraordinary pressures, or unfair expectations. Unfortunately, the new psychological location for the problem does not really move the problem. The problem’s location is not the issue. It follows the perpetrator everywhere. Resolving guilt associated with the issue is the only available relief. Grown-up problems cannot be sent to their rooms. And, they definitely cannot be swept under the rug.

New Attitude
Promises to change behaviors regularly fall short. Internal promises to do better is merely a larger, well-organized trunk to hide the problem unsuccessfully. Relief only comes with a new attitude. Furthermore, the new attitude needs new behaviors to accompany it. Many grown-up missteps are addressed with therapy, or accountability. A new attitude targeting specific priorities and decisions are the only path to true relief. Whether the attitude now highlights forgiveness, regret, or rehabilitation, the change must occur at the point of individual decision. Grown-up problems are often hard to forgive; they are often harder to forget. But, new attitudes leading to better behaviors demonstrate pathways to problem ownership. Problems ranging from blatant lying to infidelity to substance abuse accompany incredibly deep wounds. But, an improved attitude coinciding with life-affirming behaviors uproot destructive problems from a bad location to an open environment. Then, they can be exposed, addressed and ultimately defeated.

Moving grown-up issues to a new location does not achieve resolution. They follow you. Only addressing the problem from an emotional level leads to resolution. Even without a conscience weighing down the individual following harmful decisions, the resultant cover-up comes with significant gravity. Nevertheless, a changed mind, or a new attitude, creates a mindset where genuine reform can happen. Then, healing has a chance. Better choices and behaviors reflect the next step. The process requires much more than surviving the night without video games or a smart phone. But, the longevity and productivity associated with emotional health lasts much longer. A new attitude resulting in better behavior clearly sets the example for genuine rehabilitation, particularly when a child chooses to break family rules. Furthermore, the corrected attitude happens earlier, as opposed to the problem growing into the next generation.

 
By Glenn W Hunter
Principal of Hunter And Beyond

May 24, 2017 Posted by | Better Communication, Better Community, Better World | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Accountability To What?

Buffalo Stampede

A herd of majestic buffalo rumble across the prairie creating a deafening roar. The ground literally shakes as they hurry in loosely orchestrated chaos. Upon reaching a cliff each one races beyond the edge and crashes into the rocks below. The insanity of the thundering group is catastrophic. At least, the group reached their tragic demise together. Buffalo herds, like traditional organizational structure, are built on blind loyalty to the larger group. Their success assumes higher collective intelligence. Sometimes, groups are wrong. People get hurt. Who was in charge?

Improving Performance
Leaders are established to help groups achieve specific results. Considering that such groups are collections of individuals seeking a common purpose or goal, leadership provides a structure facilitating that achievement. Particularly with time-sensitive goals, everyone running faster is a reasonable tactic. But, what about the individual? Is there contribution valued? Or, are they expected to be a component of some unknown, or loosely defined, plan?

Optimally, a group that unites for a specific goal features contributing members. By accessing more individual input, the group potentially benefits from increased output. A good plan is necessary. Additionally, it requires a leader taking responsibility for execution. By getting individuals to improve their input with better contributions, leaders coordinate and enhance results. In the absence of a leader, too often one emerges who will accept responsibility and the glory. But, does this truly meet the members’ of the body individual needs? Who is accountable?

Changing Behavior
Actually, leadership’s challenge is meeting the individual needs of the members of the body. The old saying, “If you want to be a leader, grab the baton and get in front of the parade.”, is both witty and frightening. Declaring a leader in the absence of one, does not mean the group’s needs are prioritized nor met. It definitely does not mean that individuals’ needs are prioritized and met. Yes, the leadership box is checked. Now, the herd is prepared to be led off the cliff, instead of randomly charging off it.

New and improved behavior requires individual accountability. To get behavior to change, every member must find individual benefit. When real leadership is applied effectively, processes and opportunities exist to develop individuals within the group’s framework. The body does not need four well developed arms to maximize performance. It needs two functional arms and two functional legs to perform in accordance with the established design. Sustainable results happen when individual components develop in alignment with the group’s success.

Essentially, the leader needs to equip group members to develop fully. The group members need to be equipped to fulfil their individual goals. Sounds like a lot of selfishness in the name of the team. However, individual self-interest is not selfishness. And anyone who claims that it is, secretly is unhappy that they do not have the group’s blind loyalty. Improving performance is easy. Changing behavior is hard. All members must contribute toward accountability to align behaviors. Otherwise, the result is ineffective leaders who essentially join the group in running off the nearest cliff.

By Glenn W Hunter
Principal of Hunter And Beyond

April 20, 2017 Posted by | Better Business, Better Community | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Building Relationship Is For Them

 

Hall Crowd

Who doesn’t want to be loved? Some people seem to attract strangers who are willing to share their life stories. Whether they have an empathetic ear or a trusting face, these lucky listeners have people approach them with personal details. The best of these folks embrace their abundant relationship trait. Patience is often a common characteristic. An electric smile emerges as a sure sign in other cases. Nevertheless, recently two friends laughed over really good coffee about how they manage the unusual attraction of people who willingly over-share.

Music
Friend One is a musician who has a full dose of the relationship trait. As a working musician, he finds himself in assorted halls, theaters, and churches where he encounters diverse fans. Invariably, after a set, fans and listeners are inclined to pull up a chair to share. Friend One believes his highly evolved ear makes him a gifted listener.

He receives their input by listening intently. Too often, people do not really want someone to solve their problems; they want someone to listen to them. They equate listening with caring. Because Friend One listens well, his audience believes he cares well. Consequently, they share well and in turn, experience relationship. Friend One’s gift is establishing connectivity with people who need it. The music is simply a vehicle.

Lecture
Friend Two on the other hand, is a lecturer. Whether teaching, presenting, or consulting, he dispenses knowledge for listeners to apply. Establishing rapport is a skill he has developed over time. But in order to personalize information, he has to understand his audience in as much detail as possible. His primary skill is questioning.

Great lecturers do not necessarily create knowledge. But realize that knowledge is more readily available now than at any time in history. A great lecturer personalizes the knowledge. They present information in ways that multiple individuals in the audience want to receive it. Consequently, asking the right questions, while sharing information to ensure understanding, is an exceptionally valuable attribute. And, as the audience responds, either by individual or as a crowd, the connection becomes more firmly established. And, whether the bold learners address him during Q & A, or the extremely bold learners approach as he packs his materials to leave, Friend Two reinforces connection by exchanging more information individually.

Fundamentally, connecting with people happens at an emotional level. President Theodore Roosevelt stated, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” The conversation is just the foundation. The listening and connecting is where the value happens. Relationship is the foundation of human and commercial value. Would you buy your morning coffee from someone if you do not believe it is going to be good (or at least dark & hot)? Whether the power comes from listening or questioning, it is the personalized dialogue that expresses caring. And caring is the foundation of relationship.

So, in building relationship, how do you express caring? When are you most receptive to connecting?

By Glenn W Hunter
Principal of Hunter & Beyond

April 5, 2017 Posted by | Better Communication, Better Community, Better Person, Better World | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment