Building Community Through Better Relationships

Please Don’t Flunk Me

Exams are coming soon in a course that I teach. While reviewing, a student passionately cried, “If I try really hard, please don’t flunk me”. My immediate thought was that the student had homework, lecture notes, class discussions, available tutors, and a teacher who pleaded students to contact him for extra help. Using these resources easily constitutes “try really hard”, and the student will almost certainly pass. Despite these resources directly paving a clear path toward success, the student begged, “Please don’t flunk me.”

Is this the world where we really live? Individuals have resources to achieve their goals, but often want guaranteed success. They want rewards without risk. They even cloak their demands in humility, as not to seem too greedy. It’s not “gimme an A”; it’s “please don’t flunk me”. But, that is even worse! It is pompous and narcissistic. This individual wants to control the process and the result, with no investment nor effort. Furthermore, the underlying threat is that the authority figure failed if the individual does not enjoy success.

The problem with asking for a hand-out is that you just might get it. Then, when it is time for the next achievement, you default to begging again. You are capped by the generosity of others. Even, if you take the gift and stop striving because you have enough, you are now victim of a fatal flaw in logic. The world does not stop moving forward because you decided to stop. Again, “Please don’t flunk me” presumes deep-seated narcissism.

Instead of being the person that peers into the pool, falls and drowns, be the person lighting the lamp on the table that illuminates the room. Use the available resources to be more productive. Rephrase the message. Tell the teacher, “I am going to ace this class and you are going to help me!” Take ownership of your success. Hold the people who can help you accountable. Make a habit of doing the hard activities leading to success until they become easier, and then routine. Do the homework and the practice problems, regularly. Uncap your ceiling and build the habit of winning your prize. Then, win the next one. But if you do fail, rise again to claim your success!! All winners did it that way.

Use all available resources to ace your individual test and let me know what happened!

By Glenn Hunter


July 26, 2013 - Posted by | Better Person, Better World | , , , , , , , , , , ,

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